The Rules of Golf

Before you start playing golf, you need to learn the rules. It's not wise to try playing without knowing the rules and restrictions or you might find yourself trying to hit a ball out of a water hazard or (this one may be embarrassing) showing up at a clubhouse with unacceptable dress. These rules and regulations (both on and off the course) will keep you from making such mistakes.

The first place you will most likely enter when trying to play a round of golf is the course clubhouse. In the clubhouse, the rules are not called rules, but "etiquette," although they are technically still rules. The number one point of etiquette is dress. the standard dress code usually consists of a tucked in collared shirt and no denim, jeans included. Some courses may have a more strict dress code and sometimes none at all, so it never hurts to check a few days before you want to play, as different places have different dress codes. This is an example of a dress code:

Men

• Tailored slacks, plus fours, and tailored shorts no shorter than 6" above the knee
• Shirts must have collars and sleeves
• Turtle / mock necks are permitted

Ladies

• Tailored slacks, plus fours, and tailored shorts no shorter than 6" above the knee
• Sleeveless tops with collars
• Turtle / mock necks permitted
• Men's and Ladies' inappropriate attire includes cut offs, short shorts, tank tops, halters, jeans, T-shirts, bare midriffs, sweat pants and garments, including head gear, with large logos other than those attributable to golf.

The other main part of club house etiquette is just plain old etiquette. Don't be too loud, don't be a jackass... etc.

Hooray, you've conquered the club house and now are raring to go onto the course. But hold your horses, Johnny boy. You ain't goin nowhere until you learn the course rules. We will, however, go on a hypothetical game just to help explain the rules better.

On the course, the dress is, of course, exactly the same as it is in the club house, and because we've cleared that already, let's go to our nice little hypothetical tee box. You have paid at the Pro Shop of course? No? Oh no, Johnny, how could you? We simply must go and pay before we play. You say you've paid already? Where? In the place attached to the clubhouse? Oh Johnny, that is the Pro Shop! You silly lad! Well, as long as we're not breaking any rules, let's play some hypothetical golf!

Now in this hypothetical game of golf, we are hypothesizing that you already know how to play. If you do not, you should take a look at the playing golf section later. You may have noticed that we are also hypothesizing that your name is Johnny, regardless of your gender.

A rather dark golf ball!

Okay, Johnny, take a nice big swing at the ball, if you please. Ooh, watch that ball go! But oh no! It's taken a rather nasty hook and is heading right for that hypothetical body of water off to the side! That, Johnny boy, is called a water hazard! We must now go and see what the current situation is! Pick up your hypothetical bag and follow me!

Here we are beside the water hazard! Now, Johnny, do you see these hypothetical stakes along the edge of the water? These mark the hazard and tell you what the situation is! Now these here stakes are red! That means that you can move the ball backwards, start from where you hit it, or move it two clubs to either side behind the hazard. If they were yellow, however, you could place another ball directly behind the water hazard in the direction of the pin. If it was white, however, your ball would have gone out of bounds and you would have to hit again from the place where you hit the ball that went Out of Bounds (OB). In each of these scenarios, Johnny old lad, you've gotta take a little penalty. Think of it as if it goes anywhere bad, you are hitting it back from there to the place where you will hit it next. It's just a few more strokes, not a problem, none at all.

A golf pin!

Now that you've placed another ball behind the hazard, try taking another swing at it. Oh my, look at that ball go! Great shot, Johnny! It's landed right on the green! Let us now hypothetically proceed to the green!

Now, you see where your ball landed? Now go put a marker right behind it and come right back here! Okay, now you see this big dent in the ground? That's called a divot and is where your ball landed! Good thing we have a hypothetical divot repair tool here, the one that looks like two big spikes! Now insert the tool around the divot and push the ground up to make it flat again! There we go!

Now, Johnny, I think we've covered all the major rules! But remember to check the local rules at the golf course! Good luck!

©2009 Dan Gym